Why is God bettter at computers than Satan?

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on
the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was
tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to
set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I
will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than ever.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power
went off..
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in
the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their
computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone!
It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the
past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate.
"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all
his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said, "JESUS SAVES"

Guy Got Killed - My Speculations

A policeman was shot dead yesterday in an ambush by armed suspects. The killing took place at around the same time I leave for school and a few blocks from where I live. Here is the full article:

Cop killed in Pasig ambush

By: Alvin Murcia

A POLICEMAN died after he was ambushed by two motorcycle-riding gunmen while on his way to work yesterday in Pasig City. Senior Supt. Francisco Uyami Jr., Pasig police chief, identified the victim as PO2 Rolan Faraon, 28, detailed at the Intelligence and Investigation Unit of the Regional Headquarters Support Group in Camp Ricardo Papa, Bicutan, Taguig and resident of 192 Magtanggol St., Barangay Sumilang, Pasig. Case investigator PO3 Roger Baltazar said Faraon was driving his white Mitsubishi Lancer on M. Flores Street, Barangay Bagong Ilog at 7:15 a.m. when he was blocked by the suspects clad in jacket and helmet. The suspects drove near the policeman’s car and opened fire. According to witnesses, the suspects shot the victim in the head to make sure he was dead before escaping. Faraon died on the spot after sustaining eight gunshot wounds in the head and body. Police said the killing was well-planned as witnesses said two more suspects on a motorcycle acted as look-outs. Uyami said Faraon was among the 21 policemen who were implicated by a witness in the alleged illegal drug activities of Amin Imam Boratong, the alleged owner of the “shabu tiangge” in Pasig City smashed by police in February 2006. Eastern Police District director Supt. Leon Nilo dela Cruz has ordered a deeper probe into the killing of Faraon. Dela Cruz said there are so many angles that should be looked into, including the policeman’s alleged involvement in illegal drugs. PAOLO'S PERSPECTIVE I would first like to say that my perspective on this matter will be based from whatever facts are available. I would also like to say how disappointed I am in letting such an opportunity slip past. The killing took place so close to me and at the exact same time I am at the district. I might have been able to at least witness it or perhaps even help identify the suspects. DAMN! Well, back to the matter at hand. Based from the cop's alleged involvement in illegal drugs, one can speculate that the cop was in fact "crooked". His murder was probably carried out by his former colleagues within the drug cartel. A possible motive is that his fellows in the cartel saw him as a liability because the cops were investigating him and his ties so they were forced to liquidate him. Doubtless, the criminal group is very much organized and tactically dangerous.

Strangely Enough

I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually feel safer and less paranoid when I'm in school. I think it's because there are only students and teachers over there and not other more threatening elements.

I need to pull myself together. I'm jumping at shadows all over...