Not Done With THIS One Yet

This post is about me and my problems involving people with two Xs, no Ys, and the strange new way I am able to "connect" with them.

I call it trauma. I once devoted my whole heart to a special girl only to have it broken into a thousand pieces. I never did get it back whole....even after getting a girlfriend for the first time or a sweetheart during summer did NOTHING to ease the pain or begin a recovery.

Since I couldn't recover, all that was left was to make do with what I had...

I have a broken heart. I have a lot of pieces. I can't give it to just one person anymore. I can't wholly devote myself to just one woman. So here I am...having numerous empty relationships...except for a few promising ones...I have no idea how I managed it but I don't really care...

It's not of lust.

It's not of some womanizing dream.

It's self-preservation. This way, I won't form any strong emotional attachments that can leave me vulnerable to that kind of pain ever again...