Hitler is to Jews and I am to Emos

Somewhere in the country of Nigeria is a child who has lost his family to civil war, his home to militants, and any chance of a good and happy life to the crapper.

Somewhere in the jungles of South America is a child who has lost everything to the annual floods of the Amazonian rivers.

Somewhere in a suburban town in Pasig, is a child whose parents would not give him the extra money to buy an iPod, and so has dyed his hair red and black, wears pants tailored for young girls, and walks around proclaiming the darkness of life.

Which of these children has actual problems, and is not an attention-whoring spoiled brat who doesn't realize how good he has it?

If you answered "the child in Nigeria" or "the child in South America", you are correct.

If you answered "the child in Pasig", you are probably just like him, an "emo".

The word "emo" is derived from the word "emotional" or "emotive", which describes these kind of people.

Emos, usually the sons and daughters of well-to-do suburban parents, are the children and teenagers that usually make you want to damage your knuckles by delivering a well-placed punch to their lower and/or upper jaw.

Males, usually spotted in tight-fitting pants that would make any normal person have to take a shit every five minutes, as well as shirts depicting designs from the 1980's, and occasionally black-rimmed glasses, are known for being whiny, depressed, and just all-around little bitches that make other men thankful that the testosterone train did not pass them by. They also make doctors prescribe for them a pair of testicles.

Females, usually spotted in looser pants than the males, are less whiny, but do like to cry when faced with difficult situations. Other women see these girls and thank God that the testosterone train did not pass them by.

Emos are also usually seen wearing Converse All-Star shoes, and are frequently spotted in groups. These groups can usually be seen reciting poems about depression and how their lives are meaningless.

Not to be confused with goths (which are another group all together), emos are not bothered by sunlight, although their room are usually painted a dark tone.

The music that emos listen to are also filled with nothing but the voices of whiny, spoiled children, who never got that pony they wanted for Christmas.

One can usually tell if a person around them is emo if a bunch of whining is heard over a 72-hour period. This is usually followed by empty hair-care product boxes in the trash and the blaring of whiny music from nearby speakers.

Although not all emos are just whored out bastards. Sometimes, some of them can be coined as "genuine". Some of them have fucked up parents who beat them and shit. Emos are not all depressed, want to kill themselfs, smoke, cut, biosexual and do drugs. Some do but not all.

Forgive me if I'm stressing this too far but what bothers me most is that while two parties are arguing about sources of manpower, useless emos are lounging about like drunkards who learned how to write poetry. I just can't see why any unemployed emo over the age of 25 just can't be shot dead or sent to concentration camps to work for slave labor.

The Emo Phase is common among children and teens and are completely understandable...however, adult emos are better off in the music industry and not lurking in men's restrooms singing crappy songs.

NOTE:
Personally, I have nothing against emos. I believe THAT everyone is deserving of my sarcasm and discrimination.

Have a nice day!