My Long Story...blah blah blah

This post is more or less a reply to post in my friend's blog. I just couldn't resist posting one of the funniest things I ever witnessed (aka the accident). Here goes...

September 18, 2007 - Morning
Morning was great. Today was our last day of practice (yeah..."practice") in the Computer Lab. I wasn't really nervous yet since I don't get nervous until I see the other competitors. I might not have been nervous, but God was I still feeling sick. I have this monster headache because for the past week, I've spent 18 hours out of 24 each day in front of a PC. So with today being the last day of having air conditioning and net surfing in school, I...we...took the liberty of abusing it. It certainly helped that Von left his USB in the Computer Lab. It was very fortunate that he had Warcraft with DotA in it as we were able to turn the lab into an exclusive computer shop. Surprisingly, even the teachers joined in. I can still remember the look on the faces of the other students as they passed by, staring in awe as to why a favorite game was now installed in the com lab. And so we played, practiced...and played some more.

Afternoon
By now, my eyes were beginning to feel like they were going to drop out of their sockets. At dismissal, Keath told me that the class was going to drop by my house to watch a movie. I didn't believe him. The day ended with me going home alone. I walked all the way home, stopping only to buy a drink. I was very eager to begin making all the images for the competition. When I did get there, lo and behold...twenty-something students already in my house waiting for me. We watched Mean Girls (The one without all the sex scenes and more mature sexual innuendo) and Little Miss Sunshine (yet again). I still recall a conversation between Kevin and my mom when she arrived at about 8:30PM.

Mother: "Aba, ang dami nyo pala dito."
Kevin: "Tumakas lang po kami sa mga bahay namin."
Mother: "Para na palang orphanage ito."

It's too bad I wasn't able to prepare some food. If only there were pancakes *sigh*. Eventually, I did find some Graham Crackers, Skyflakes, and Princess bought a bag of chips for food. It felt a bit awkward hearing Dwayne's first line in a very loud volume. I was at least able to finish all my images for tomorrow while they watched. We finished watching at about 9:30PM. We cleaned up some of the mess and prepped for departure.

The Beginning
Since the back door was closed, we had to take the long way around. Some were going to stay with Ayra at my house to wait for her parents to come and fetch them (too bad, Pamela wasn't here, there might have been another car but I heard someone said her tasty-treats predicted heavy rain and she wasn't able to come). It was still raining so I brought two umbrellas. I lent one to someone and used other for myself. We set off with me leading them to the other exit. We shared what few umbrellas and I just had the misfortune of having "Portia" (the annoying asthmatic and whose name I've changed for privacy) as the person to be under an umbrella with. To speed things up a bit, I offered to carry her bag up the many slopes in my village (and I mean MANY). We took a short cut through a small forest. The fun begins...Portia, whom I expected to be the bravest among the girls given her scouting experience, was screechy about going through the "dark, scary, snake-infested forest." She had more or less a very firm grip (imagine an eagle's claw) on my arm as we descended the rocky slope (heck, I was sick and wearing nothing more than slippers, shorts, and a Garfield shirt). By the time we finally passed the guardhouse, most of us were panting. I was expecting everyone to ride the same jeepney for convenience and security. Everyone did...except for one. It had to be Portia. Her boyfriend had sent a message via cellphone that he was going to fetch her (this was baffling since he doesn't even know where the hell I live!). So despite my insistence that she just stay with the guards (well-armed, M-16 wielding guards), my mother's words of warning ("Siguraduhin mong makarating sa bahay ang mga yan. Ayokong makasuhan ng mga magulang nyan kapag may masamng nangyari") and honor demanded that I stay (actually, she just asked me to stay for the umbrella and security against *other* people). The long wait had begun.

Waiting by The Roadside...Waiting
As we waited at the roadside, boredom (oh how I hate that) began to set in. We first played I Spy With My Little Eye (for two measly rounds!) then moved on to simply counting how many jeepneys passed by before he arrived. She received more text messages from her parents before her cellphone's battery began to go low. As I grew more and MORE bored, I began wishing someone would come and attempt to rob us so I can do something to break the boredom and watch the would-be robber get gunned down by the guards (they were no more than 15 yards away). At about the 11th jeepney, she received a text message from her boyfriend asking her if she could move to Rizal Medical School. This was annoying but understandable. Fortunately for her, I knew where that place was but unfortunately for both of us, that place was close to the squatter zones. And so we walked about 1 kilometer over there.

Rizal Med
Thank God the rain stopped, my arm was growing weary for the umbrella tis so large and heavy. By the time we got there, I think the tally of jeepneys reached 15. We waited there for about 30 minutes (or 4 jeepneys). I tried persuading her to just take a ride home herself since waiting there was endangering her life (actually, I just REALLY wanted to go home. I was cold, sick, and wet). I nearly damn succeded but her boyfriend texted her again, asking if she could move to Talipapa, a market in Bagong Ilog. That was another kilometer to walk! With a sigh I escorted her yet again to the third rendezvous point. I don't mind walking (I didn't really coz I liked to walk) but going there would mean passing through one of the most dangerous areas where weren't any nearby houses or police nearby. Just lampposts and closed down shops. This was getting serious.

Slip not...not once but twice
As we walked, my training began to take over. I kept her half a meter ahead of me and I kept a firm grip on the only means of protection I had, an umbrella. Startled was I when she suddenly slipped (I thought someone had knocked her over and snatched something of value). Somehow I managed to catch her before she fell on the wet ground (awww...). Frustrated, she began to pout and in the process, slipped again (yay!). This time, I wasn't able to catch her. She grazed her hand and arm on the hard concrete, inflicting a deep gash. Bleeding and wet, she was now very frustrated. I helped her up and wiped some of the dirt of her back before continuing. I recommended alcohol yet she had none, only a handkerchief. As we reached Talipapa, still no sign of her boyfriend so she decided to finally get a jeepney. As fortune smiled then betrayed, fortune smiled again as her boyfriend found us (his arrival was as welcome as a Little Bird MEDEVAC chopper in the middle of Mogadishu). With quick words of farewell, I left the couple to face yet another problem – my angry parents.

One of the Best Lies Ever
As I walked once more all the way home (three friggin kilometers! sonofabitch!), I was thinking of a good enough lie to tell my parents as to why I'm so late in coming home as it was already 11:00PM. The guard greeted me with a salute and told me that my father had called several times already. When I finally got home, an extemporaneous speech and lie began. I started out with a "I did what I thought was right at the time." (complete with gestures, I rule!). Then moved on to "Portia had an asthma attack! I couldn't have just left her there on the street!" (hoping that they won't call her house and ask!). It worked quite well...quite well indeed. I will expound no more about my magnificent, wonderful lie. It is a treasured moment for me and today was a very *eventful* one.